I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
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I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
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so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize