I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize