that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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