He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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