Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
