Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She's the barista slut.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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