And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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