is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
