When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
