If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
false alarm. still invincible.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize