I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
