Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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