He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
