u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
