I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
