Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
