Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I don't think brook has ever known best
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
