I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
