i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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