So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize