I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
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I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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