if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
