Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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