I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
