I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
