I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize