quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
high people should be assigned attendants
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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