Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
