playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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