Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
