considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
