my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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