I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
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It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
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Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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