Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize