dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
