he shaved USA in his pubs
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
