Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
