is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
