I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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