So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
