ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
