i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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