i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
