I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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