So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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