im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
where am i from again
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
