is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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