I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
