Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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