Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize