Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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