Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
