so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
