I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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