Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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