Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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