i think my tv is drunk
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The air was thick with penises
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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