ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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