this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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