last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
